Creative Conflicts

 

“A Nice Dream” Clip Studio Paint, 2021

“Creamsicle Haze” Procreate, 2022

At heart I believe I’m an artist, and the way I create art is through storytelling. So, I guess it makes sense that I want to create graphic novels. In some of the earliest memories I ever have I was drawing pictures and having my mom help me staple together storybooks I’d made. There truly is this instinctive, innate desire as a child to build and create things. It’s almost second nature. I’m lucky enough that I still have that desire, though a lot less time.

This is what I wanted to talk about this week. I am a creative person, and part of being creative is realizing your crutches and not letting them get in the way of your work. My biggest issue I have is scheduling my time well. Between social obligations, homework, hobbies, and creative projects, it can be hard to make sure each area is getting the right amount of care. And unfortunately, when I am stressed out, personal creative projects are first to get put on the back burner. I need a social life, and to maintain my grades to stay steady, I need free time to enjoy my hobbies like video games and movies so that I can be relaxed enough to focus on social responsibilities and school. When things are going great in my life, it’s easy to separate that time, but when I’m stressed out, and I feel like I have a lot more work to do than usual, working on my graphic novels, any illustrations, or design projects gets put away for a while.

I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. Everyone should obviously take care of themselves, and their priorities first. The trick, I think, is to not forget about whatever your working on. There have been times where I have been so stressed and so exhausted that I don’t touch active creative projects that I still care a lot about for months after the stressor has been relieved. This is a bad thing. So, what I’ve done to change that is to not just include my creative projects as a priority, but also to recognize that I don’t have to work on them the same amount as everything else for the work I contribute to be meaningful. I can work on a chapter of something I’m writing for, for thirty minutes and that time is still valuable, even if I also spend two hours on homework that day. It doesn’t matter that I spend a ton of time on something, so much as it does that I’m consistently working on and engaged in that project.

I included the two pieces I did above for this exact reason. The first piece of the ladies in the garden took me around seven hours, and I love that piece, I think it’s great, but I did it in one sitting. While the piece on the bottom, of the woman smoking on her balcony took me about a week or two, and I think it’s the better piece of the two. And part of that’s also to do with the fact that I had time, instead of trying to complete my entire illustration process in one sitting, I gave myself time between sessions working on it to come back with fresh eyes and a new perspective. I spent time changing things I didn’t like and seeing how the coloring worked, and I didn’t feel as drained when I finished it because I hadn’t been working on it all day, I’d been working on it over the course of several days and taking my time with it. 

I understand, unfortunately that this is not always a viable option for every creative project. There are things you can take your time with, and sometimes there are things you can’t. But I think it’s important to take away that as long as you’re not neglecting whatever you are able to take your time with, it can still be something special, even if it’s not what you are prioritizing at that very moment.